Systems and methods for screenless computerized social-media access

1. A computer-implemented method comprising:

producing, via an audio speaker that is communicatively coupled to a computing device, a computer-generated verbal description of a social-media post provided via a social-media application;

detecting, via a microphone that is communicatively coupled to the computing device, a spontaneous response to the social-media post;

creating an emoji-based digital reply to the social-media post based on the spontaneous response; and

affixing the emoji-based digital reply to an emojis section corresponding to the social-media post.

2. The computer-implemented method of claim 1 , wherein:

the method further comprises determining that the social-media post satisfies a priority threshold; and

producing the computer-generated verbal description of the social-media post comprises producing the computer-generated verbal description of the social-media post in response to determining that the social-media post satisfies the priority threshold.

3. The computer-implemented method of claim 1 , wherein producing the computer-generated verbal description of the social-media post comprises producing the computer-generated verbal description of the social-media post in response to receiving a vocal command via the microphone.

4. The computer-implemented method of claim 1 , wherein producing the computer-generated verbal description of the social-media post comprises automatically producing the computer-generated verbal description of the social-media post in response to detecting a predetermined contextual trigger.

5. The computer-implemented method of claim 4 , wherein the predetermined contextual trigger comprises at least one of:

a time;

a location; or

an activity.

6. The computer-implemented method of claim 1 , wherein the spontaneous response comprises laughter.

7. The computer-implemented method of claim 6 , wherein the emoji-based digital reply comprises an emoji of a laughing face.

8. The computer-implemented method of claim 1 , further comprising posting the emoji-based digital reply in a comments section corresponding to the social-media post.

9. The computer-implemented method of claim 1 , further comprising:

creating a text-based digital reply to the social-media post based on the spontaneous response; and

posting the text-based digital reply in a comments section corresponding to the social-media post.

10. The computer-implemented method of claim 1 , wherein the spontaneous response comprises at least one of an exclamation, a grunt, or a muttering.

11. A system comprising:

a player module, stored in memory, that produces, via an audio speaker that is communicatively coupled to a computing device, a computer-generated verbal description of a social-media post provided via a social-media application;

a detection module, stored in memory, that detects, via a microphone that is communicatively coupled to the computing device, a spontaneous response to the social-media post;

a response module, stored in memory, that:

creates an emoji-based digital reply to the social-media post based on the spontaneous response; and

affixes the emoji-based digital reply to an emojis section corresponding to the social-media post; and

at least one physical processor configured to execute the player module, the detection module, and the response module.

12. The system of claim 11 , wherein:

the player module further determines that the social-media post satisfies a priority threshold; and

the player module produces the computer-generated verbal description of the social-media post in response to determining that the social-media post satisfies the priority threshold.

13. The system of claim 11 , the player module produces the computer-generated verbal description of the social-media post in response to receiving a vocal command via the microphone.

14. The system of claim 11 , wherein the player module automatically produces the computer-generated verbal description of the social-media post in response to detecting a predetermined contextual trigger.

15. The system of claim 14 , wherein the predetermined contextual trigger comprises at least one of:

a time;

a location; or

an activity.

16. The system of claim 11 , wherein the spontaneous response comprises laughter.

17. The system of claim 16 , wherein the emoji-based digital reply comprises an emoji of a laughing face.

18. The system of claim 11 , wherein the response module further posts the emoji-based digital reply in a comments section corresponding to the social-media post.

19. The system of claim 11 , wherein the spontaneous response comprises at least one of an exclamation, a grunt, or a muttering.

20. A non-transitory computer-readable medium comprising one or more computer-readable instructions that, when executed by at least one processor of a computing device, cause the computing device to:

produce, via an audio speaker that is communicatively coupled to a computing device, a computer-generated verbal description of a social-media post provided via a social-media application;

detect, via a microphone that is communicatively coupled to the computing device, a spontaneous response to the social-media post;

create an emoji-based digital reply to the social-media post based on the spontaneous response; and

affix the emoji-based digital reply to an emojis section corresponding to the social-media post.